i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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