I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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