You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
