Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
