My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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