this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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