you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
