Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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