is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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