they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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