I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
