I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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