Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
