Christians are straight up FREAKS
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
