she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize