There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
