oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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