If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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