who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
