Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
