Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
