idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
