her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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