FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
