Pappa wants mamma naked
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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