I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
