she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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