why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
