i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
