If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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