My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
