whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
