The brown eye won't let me do that either.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
