so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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