plz talk dirty to me
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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