Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
