I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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