yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
