Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
