why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
