Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize