I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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