Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
