I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
