Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Randomize
