Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
