I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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