So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize