I haven't been this sober since birth.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
