It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
