i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
