I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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