i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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