Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
