my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
