the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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