hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
