Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
