yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
