Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
