Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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