whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
