Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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