I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
