he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
