I want to have your abortion
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize