dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
