Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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