did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
