Just cropdusted the office
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
