Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize