Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You ate ashes out of my bong
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
