just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Life is so much better after having sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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