i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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