Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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