shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
